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Funny thing happened this morning. I was doing my shopping getting ready for my drive and the FB memories popped up. Today was my first outing in Florida last year. It just so happened I had decided to wear the same shirt!
Ego is something that keeps popping.
I know there’s a train of thought out there about letting it go.
I like being me though and don’t want to be the exact same as everybody else, even though in some things I know I am.
I’ve also read that the awakening process is about “falling in love with yourself” and that’s the greatest love story of all time. Unless that means a mirror of me as in somebody else, that’s dumb. Of course I love myself or I wouldn’t be here. Read another meme that loving yourself is an innate feature. That made more sense to me. Everybody already does, or they’d all have committed suicide already. It’s part of the survival instinct isn’t it?
I think that’s different from unlearning the programming that made you tear that down to the point where you learn to hate yourself.
I love myself.
I’m only falling in love with someone else.Healthy levels of course. That’s the goal for both.
I met a nice lady this afternoon that was friends with Heather. She used to do Reiki. She told me when she was doing energy work for people sometimes she’d get images flashes when working on them. She’d relay them if they wanted her too. One lady she working on she said she saw a bad spirit attached to her. I should have asked which chakra but didn’t. Anyway, the lady wanted to know so she told her there was an evil spirit. The lady said her BF killed himself and blamed it on her. Her recommendation was to ground herself and let the negative energy flow out into the earth. She did think it was a separate energy for hers.
That reminded me of the time I got Rieki. It was in 2020, covid was on scene and everybody had to stay home. So she did house calls. She saw the angel with the sword in a starry night setting. I had her paint it for me, she was a painter too. It was a shadowy figure.
The guy I just talked to also brought up starry night from an image, never spoke with him before so not sure what his situation is, but it sync’d with the above.
Did get me wondering about the image flashes. When I got them of other people it seemed to have different meanings but we both experienced it. Got me wondering about the two Reiki gals. I don’t know that I believe you can carry an evil spirit from someone else. Maybe a negative emotion, scar type of thing that they hadn’t healed?
We talked about grounding for a bit too. Back when I was looking for a way to cure my thyroid issues, I got into a bit. Read a bit about the Indians saying the white man lost their connection with the earth when they started wearing shoes. So I did buy a pair of grounding sandals. Had copper wires running through them. Standing outside in bare feet in the winter wasn’t happening. but the sandals and the natural fiber socks sounded like a better idea to me.
I also found that the natural fibers work better for me with moisture. Lots of sneakers make my feet sweat. But cotton socks help a lot with that. For the sandals I got wool. Which reminds me of my Uggs. Loved those boots. They kept my feet nice and warm, expensive though. But they used sheep skin.I have some odd conversations with people at times. They don’t make any sense. I related it to turrets when my cousin said she didn’t understand what the conversation was about when she read one. Just had another one with a guy. I don’t know what he’s talking about, I just pick something and respond with an answer that’s confusing to me too but fits to the word that popped out.
It’s funny to me at the time. They usually stop speaking to me. I might need to practice my conversation skills.I do realize a lot of people took Q to the point of hatred. Especially with all the child molestation and beatings insinuations that happened on those forums. You know some of those Chans had actual images of raping babies? Infants. They were cartoon type of images, but that’s what they showed, a penis in a baby. When I read it, I went and looked for myself and they were there. Bringing awareness to it? Lots of outrage over it.
Then there was the whole adrenochrome bit. Terrify a child enough and their whatever gland produces it, and they could get high off of it? That’s the fountain of youth some believe?
Did they carry those dreams into real life? I guess it’s possible. I know I want to manifest most of my dreams, but I love my dreams.
Bringing the starry night back down to earth.
The people I followed closely in the beginning were people I could relate to. They used words I could understand. There was only a few of those folks that I came across though.
Every day I do get a flood of posts that are out in space. Sometimes I do wonder though what people who are part of the unsuspecting populace think if they come across them. Probably just dismiss them, like I did. I wouldn’t follow those people because they were completely unrelatable. I didn’t come across many at all that could transform Q’s stuff into relatable self improvement techniques. That one girl I mentioned did. But, haven’t found many others yet. Tons still stuck in the Q clock.
When I see a post like this, I get it but don’t. It’s a beautiful image. But that’s not something I have any desire to do. I going to say, it’s pretty safe to say the majority of the population doesn’t either or there would be a lot more monks in the world. Not relatable, even though that’s what taught to be “enlightened” by a lot.
How many people are on a quest to be enlightened? Not a common goal in America at least. Happy homes, happy family with kids and animals, happy life. Doesn’t connect with that. Why do so many awakening people go that route then? Especially if they want others to join them on their journey?
Funny thing happened with my friend Maho when we did his knighting ceremony. The title he picked that he wanted to be was a Monk. When he knelt down to be Knighted by the Queen, she had some requests for the evening before he “committed to his vow of silence”. Maho had the most puzzled look on his face. Maho’s flow comes in the form of words. So the contradiction was amusing to me. Especially since in our conversations he was saying how he wanted to meet up with friends more and have more fun.
Would that be a good example of cognitive dissonance? I get confused by those psychological terms a lot. Jess and I were talking about that the other day. She wants to be a psychologist. She’s been taking her semester finals over the last week and that was one of the topics. I tried to give an example for myself, and the only thing I could thing of at the time was that I say I want to lose weight and then eat a lot. I haven’t been lately, but last night I did eat more meatballs than I should have. I was already full and kept going cause they were yummy. BUT! I also did like 40 laps yesterday so I definitely had a good bit of exercise too.
Narcissim, that’s another one I don’t understand.
I did look it up.
“Narcissism is <b>extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them</b>. While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings. They also do not understand the effect that their behavior has on other people.”
You know half my family calls a bunch of other people narcissists? All of them have different personality traits. So I never got an understanding of what exactly makes one an official narcissist. It’s so commonly used, and so many publications on it, is it rendered meaningless?
Am I being narcissistic because I left and my family wanted me to stay there? Or were they being narcissistic by wanting me to stay?
Still don’t get it.
The other day I was on the phone with Andrea, and I was telling her how I’d love to be able to go on that cat boat with Heather, a girl’s day out on the water. She said she wouldn’t though because she was afraid of the alligators. In my head I’m thinking that would be an awesome experience for both of us. Might help her get over it and it would be fun, something she never did. A first for both of us!
Andrea’s response was Heather goes out on boats all the time, she wouldn’t want to do that. I told her that she seemed interested but just really afraid of the gators. She then said, well I wouldn’t do it, not fun for Andrea. I was just thinking, ok but we aren’t talking about you, we are talking about Heather.
That little exchange kind of cost me my motivation. I already knew it would be a bit of a challenge to get Heather to get on the boat. Then I figured if they talked, she’d probably talk her out of it. Then I decided I rather put my energy into my original gameplay, laps and tanning for 2 weeks.
My mom can do the belly roll thing, so can my sister. I never learned how to do it. I did beat em hands down with the hips though. They both went into the smooth dances and I went latin.
We never actually competed against one another in dancing. I don’t think we even competed at the same time.
Camille did smooth (fox, waltz, tango, Viennese waltz). I did latin. (cha cha, samba, rumba, Paso double, jive)
I did compete in smooth for a short bit with the one partner, John. He had a smooth background. We started in Latin, I was already experienced in it and he wanted to give that a try. Then I wanted to get into the smooth dances, he was really good at those. I wasn’t feeling like we’d go far in the latin. But that didn’t last long as I mentioned.
This is the Argentine tango. Not part of any of the regular competition dances. Did have a short dream about learning it, saying it was child’s play. Fighting ego was involved in this dream.
Im trying to remember the chain of events and can’t. I know I was really into dancing with him in the latin for awhile. We had our win at the Baltimore Washington Competition, but then didn’t do much after that. Not sure when the converting him conversation happened, but I know it weirded me out. The latin dances are very sensual, the smooth dances are very lovey lovey in a Fred and Ginger kind of way. Maybe it was me, or both, I dunno.
All I can say about it was when the US Championships came, scheduling wise it was a bitch, they were run the same time. We made the semi finals for the Smooth and scratched the latin. I think that’s when it ended.
For awhile there I thought you were gay and that’s how I got the gay storyline. The dreams were the key motivation for me working through my hangups. Cause if we were meant to be together I had to get through it if it was going to happen. The smashing pcs story, I did think there was a possibility it might have been guys. The lisp coding made me think you followed somebody else’s story where they were. Then all the syncs happened where some of my online friends were saying they were bi-curious and I thought that’s a sure way for it to be a disaster for their women. That was last winter. Then that all cleared out, and one of them announced the loved their wife’s ass. Made me smile cause you can’t make babies if you’re gay.
I also thought there was a possibility you avoided it all by making your girls gay. Maybe you were smashing lots of girls along the way.
Also thought you coulda just been angry and went the mean girl route, trying to wake up the pituitary by any means possible till you had a change of heart.
Each one could have been changed when you learned to find the beauty in everything. I get worried about going mean girl at times with the triggers. I remember in the beginning when I did trigger over a post you made, think it was how emotions weren’t included in the text. That’s when you linked me the shadow post. I didn’t know what it was and had to look it up. Then I triggered again about you lecturing me. But it definitely was a teachable moment which I appreciate.
And for the record, the butt sex thing didn’t come to mind until after I had the dream. They aren’t graphic so I wondered about it afterwards. Right before I went to Roswell. Then I got embarrassed when I saw all the pins saying “Ask me about my butt’
For the record, still want to experience all my dreams with you, just like I said at the very beginning to you in DMs.
Just got off the phone with my sister. The goodie box she sent me had a Christmas present. Royal blue Slip-in shoes. Not the prettiest of shoe designs but they are cushy. Tried wearing them, can’t though. They don’t fit my foot properly, so I can’t keep them on. My arch might be too high for them to fit snuggly and I walk out of them. Can’t take em back either since I wore em.
Also got to talking to her about how my mom was doing. She’s feeling better. Camille said she’s been giving Camille guilt trips for not taking care of her. She then said you drove away and left her, and somehow Im the bad daughter. I did ask her why she thinks me staying in an RV without running water and a working bathroom would have helped the situation. I did it for 3 months to visit with them. Plus I did ask my dreams and her house is what came up so there I stayed. Maybe she didn’t feel guilty then? Or mom said less to her then?
That lead into a convo about mom asking her yesterday for a Christmas present for bandit which costs $120. It’s a ball throwing machine that she told mom to get for bandit so he could burn off some energy a couple years ago. She gets mad all the time for mom not training him the way she wants him trained. Thing is, it wasn’t mom’s idea to get Bandit. Camille decided she should have another dog so got him for her for Christmas one a few years back. Anyway, that lead into another conversation about how mom asks her for expensive stuff and asks me for reasonable stuff. She asked for a small plug in heater from me this year, and I got it for her plus some soft long johns to help keep her warm cause she’s always cold. I guess it cost me $50 total.
Also asked her about her cousins party, she decided to keep the name cousins party.
I was thinking about what you said about everyone going through the Dark Night of the Soul. I get it but I don’t. Id much rather be helping people overcome their issues in a fun way like the alligator boat trip than non-stop upsetting them.
Most my phone conversations go that way with my sis. We talked daily for awhile when I left last year. Then I cut it way back cause I didn’t want to hear the negativity every day. A friend of mine used to always say if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. I spent a lot of time on the lesson plan of repainting the picture, especially with my mom last spring. That was probably one of the most valuable ones, if not the most valuable that you taught me. Last fall was good with my mom, this year was even better.
Before that happened, I did make one change which I think I told you about. Just saying I love you to her. Took awhile, she did start saying it back. Told Jess about it, she tried it and she got it back right away. Told Camille, she refused. Told mom to start it with her, she refused too.
What goes around comes around?
I can love them all from a distance, just don’t feel the need to be in the middle of that cycle.
Cheeky bikini is not working out the way I had hoped. Washed out the color in the 2 days I wore it. Ordered another one from a diff company. Staying with the V design. Not sure yet what Im going to do with the green one I ordered, I do like it, just can’t get it wet. Shitty quality, but could use it for dry days.
I got a beach chair too so if I want to lay out or nap outside the RV I can. This location is a bit tuff. Only place you don’t get bit up by the bugs is at the pool.
This was Suki’s first Christmas and a my cat, her name is Kitty. She was a rescue. I was moving from my house on the river to my townhome. We were getting the place ready to sell and were tearing down an old shed that day. I stopped over the house to make sure everything I was keeping was out of the shed. I opened the door and saw something run from the corner of my eye, it scared me. Then I looked again and saw this little tiny face peeking out from behind a board. I tried to get her to come to me but she wouldn’t. So, I went and got food and when she smelled it she came running. Don’t think she had eaten in days. I was really happy I stopped by that morning to double check cause she would have gone down with the shed.
When I picked her up I saw she was in pretty bad shape. Her tail was smashed and her foot mangled. I thought she must have been partially run over by a car. I took her to a vet and they amputated the tail. Thought she was gonna be ok but then she got pneumonia.
I went away to a competition and she stayed with the vet. 3rd day vet called and said she wasn’t eating and she probably should be put down because she was in pain. I told her no. I didn’t find her to euthanize her. Her stubby tail matched Chloe’s, she was meant to live. The vet said ok she’s was really young, only 6 weeks old, but she’d try using some steroids and see if that helped.
Next day she called me and Kitty was eating. She’s 13 years old now and hasn’t needed to go to the vet since. She didn’t like many people, was pretty much a one person cat. But, she did take a big liking to Flavi. So when we split, I took the dogs and left the cat with him. Took her a long time to adjust to the new house and RV life would have been ruff with her with me too. So she stayed with him. I did visit her when I was back in town, she was doing great.
As it turns out “family friendly” does not mean for the whole family. Sandpipers is a 55+ community. They are letting me in anyway but said Jess was too young so she can’t go. I set it up for the month. As long as I stay two weeks it’ll be the same as the weekly rate.
Dunno what this has to do with anything but I had to send them my proof the dogs had their rabies vaccines.
The Ozzy picture popped, reminded me of the story with him bitting the head off of a bat, which I originally thought was kittens. That was the story I remember anyway, not of a bat.
I’ve also been experimenting with gifs on FB. Seeing if they get rotated. On Pinterest, lots of times I just post them in the order they are in from the top two lines. Sometimes I skip around a little, sometimes I skip the movie cause I don’t feel like downloading them.
On FB it’s different, I don’t get 5 per line, just get 1. I was responding to my Merry Christmas post and just kept getting the same gif of a guy crying. That’s not what I wanted to use to respond. Though other times I used whatever was in the top spot when I clicked the button. So been searching for words, used Merry a lot, for a bit same one kept getting duplicated, then it started changing.
Kind of feel like I’m going through that now. Granted a faster and less crazy version. Have my goals, telling my stories, experiencing synchronicities both online and in person, lots more magic involved, and don’t feel the need to spend a lot of time with face to face meetings other than in passing conversations. It’s a big reason why I didn’t want to go out on the boat today too.
But, another reason is I couldn’t set my boundaries. I was joining their party, out in the ocean. Me dictating a time to get back for the dogs to be let out wouldn’t be appropriate, they were inviting me to join their “reindeer games”. (in quotes cause that’s the term she used) I make my own.
Starting to feel antsy sitting here so last couple of things before I head out.
The couple across from me heading out now, are from Canada. They were really nice, first time I spoke with them this morning. Turns out we are headed to close to the same places and we think we will be in the same campground in Key Largo. Got to talking about Texas RV parks and how they were cheaper than Florida, they said lots of Canadians were starting to switch cause of prices. Also talked about the real estate market, their mortgages are different though. Max you can lock in for is 5 years, and then they re-fi to current interest rates, so they not only have to be qualified for current pricing, but also a price adjusted amount to account for inflation future. Lots of Canadians bought here in Florida during last market crash they said.
Chloes booties seem to be doing well, she is far more willing to walk around with them on.
There was something else but I forget.
Cliff notes while Im on lunch break
Met Dagmar at a competition. She was sitting down at breakfast by herself so I decided to join her. You weren’t supposed to approach the judges at events, but I didn’t care. I wanted to train with her. I sat down at her table and started talking to her. She was surprised at first. I told her I wanted to come visit her for lessons and she welcomed me in.
Met 2 couples from Florida at the pool. Both are here with their families for a Christmas getaway with the their kids. One was originally from Argentina, quite pretty, she reminded me of a woman on a show I saw about drug runners and the King Pin was a woman. They lived in Colorado Springs for a bit then moved back down because it’s warmer.
Also met 2 travelers that were going to Mexico, both said they would not go through Texas to get into Mexico. The one was flying, and the other was traveling to Cali to drive in that way. Brian who’s heather’s husband, works in logistics for trucking, he said that too. All about the cartels down there. and his trucking company won’t even cross into the Leon territory, they hand off because it’s so dangerous.
The cartel thing… I don’t get it. If everyone is telling me the Cartels run the show, why wouldn’t they make it safe for tourists? There’s big money to be made in tourism, very big. Those guys are smart enough to smuggle billions of dollars worth of drugs into the country and outsmart the very well trained military at every turn? And they aren’t smart enough to let people come into their areas to buy a ton of shit that they don’t need cause that’s the American way? Something doesn’t smell right in Denmark.
