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My bathing suit was this blue color not the seafood green I thought it was. It’s alright not my favorite. I did my first lens buddy shoot too. Wasn’t happy with how I looked so deleted them. Took this one just with a my regular camera.
The pictures are definitely a thing. I don’t want to post them until I feel like I look good in them. I know Im on the right track, I’ve doing all the things I need to be doing. Just don’t like what I see in the picture yet.
Here’s the thing. That would stop me from going to the pool in the suit. Nor getting completely naked at a resort. But it does with pictures. Is it just with you? In my head I say, if he loves me at my worst (not that I’m at my worst now) he’ll love me at my best and everywhere in between. But I still won’t post the picture. Wouldn’t post it anywhere else either, so I know it’s not just you, though you’re important to me.
Body beautiful is a struggle.
I leveled up again!
Took the dogs out for a walk. The new strap on brace worked out great. Kept her toes up. But! All of sudden her foot was bleeding. I got so upset and thought I put the strap on too tight in between her toes. I was really sad for a bit thinking I hurt her. Took her into the dog park and hosed her foot off and it was her toenail. The twist of her leg still has part of her toe nails dragging and it cut through the nail. So I ordered a new pair of waterproof booties. The socks already have holes in them.
Here’s the cool thing that happened. I went on amazon and did my search. I had posted the yoga chick on twitter. So I looked for a bootie with black and yellow, there was two top line, but when I was looking at one phone dinged. So that’s the one I went with. Bulk matters because she can get caught easily with the way the leg twists and swings. The one that dinged was the narrower of the two. Then I had to size it, I was thinking 3 but was wondering if I had to go with 4. So then I got her up and measured, was in between the two sizes. Site says to go with the smaller, so 3 it was. As to the color, I matched the car I saw the other day and the bath suit I got.
I’m very happy this evening.
The new dog brace I got with the string around her toes kept her foot locked to her thigh. Her toe nails dragged a little but she wasn’t walking on the tops of her foot. Downside, she can’t jog cause she can’t extend the leg. But, maybe that will just take some practice. Im going to test it out tomorrow and see if we can get a decent walk down the street and back and get her some exercise.
Also, post more pics like that one from earlier! All the positions you want to do to me. I’ll tell ya if I like the idea or not. Now that’s a fun game 🙂
I also wrote another post this morning. Not sure if it was worth writing or not.
The unicorn thing helped me tremendously early on. But is FB the place for it?
The autism thing that popped this morning was super cool too. That made me smile.
Sometimes I post things so people who’ve said things understand me better. Then I don’t know they even see it. Cause they are rarely the ones that like it. But it makes me smile when someone acknowledge they see it.
Validation or vindication?
That’s also a question that runs through my mind. I know ego is involved. Is that a good or bad thing? Well, I’m happy when things I’ve said happen or come true. I’d also like to expand other people’s thinking so they don’t label negatively, changing perspectives. Intent? They all can do things too and if they share what they see then we’d all move faster. They don’t know that they see yet, for the most part.Did you know April was autism awareness month? That’s the month we’ll be in Colorado right? RIGHT???
Also, what’s the deal with the strap ons? Are you into that? That’s gonna take me awhile to get mind around that if so. I did think back when I thought you were gay, and with some of the posts little wiz makes I sometimes still think that. Maybe it’s just something you want to experience? Hmm. Have to get a good lube. I’ll let you do the shopping for that since it’s your hole in one.
I’m just telling you now, if it’s some sort of shit fetish you are into, that’s a no go. I already told my story about that. But I do realize shit happens to everyone.
Im not into girls. So if there’s something else weird going on over there, I already kicked her out once. I’ll do it again and help her pack if need be.
Though I did think there’s also the possibility that you just want me to go into the picture. Some are inviting, some are not. You flying in bubble wrap with me naked in dead space wasn’t a turn on. We’re already flying unicorns.
Still waiting to see if you want to be my boyfriend.
I’m sure somewhere in here there’s a sexual pun. Im just going back to the grind though.
Sometimes I do love shadow work.
And something strange just happened. I got up to go to the bathroom and the toilet was filled. I thought the black tank must be full so I went outside to check it, and it was barely there. Maybe quarter tank. I emptied and came back in for a clear flush. Never used just plain water.
I was reading a post in the RV group the other day about a haunted RV. Doing things without awareness? At least I didn’t let it overflow this time. Though I don’t remember even going in there.
Also posted 11 yrs ago.
For the record, I don’t see the whole spread of memories. I just post them and comment then scroll down to the next.
The other day after Maho made his comment a group popped up about living in your car or van. I sent it to him. He’s got a van thought it would give him some cool ideas.
Would probably give Andrew some good ideas. That group is huge. But he got snappy with me last time I made a suggestion.
A long while ago I was thinking how I’d have this rag tag band of misfits that I’d meet up with. If nobody else would be friends with them, I would. I used to do that in my guild too. Always collect the ones that seemed to not be fitting in with the group so they’d have someone to game with. Mother hen gathering up her chicks. No peeps no assistance?
Squeaky wheel gets oiled.
Here’s one of those posts I was talking about a long time ago. Do I not get how twitter works or something? How did taylorswift get tagged in it?
You posted, then I, then Cage in this thread.
https://x.com/Seekingtruth517/status/1744369954525200391?s=20
How does that happen?
Got worried there for a second. The words that came were Ready, Aim, Fire thought I was about to collect another skull. Maybe I did. But this one made me smile
Green seems to be the color of the day!
Might have to find where I put my new bath suit. I did eat pizza yesterday. But then I swam a bunch of laps and didn’t eat in the evening. Also looked up some glute exercises. Maybe I’ll do them first. They did hurt.
So now thinking of the two dreams I had with you. The one was with you standing over me satisfying yourself as I did me. For the record, that would be a first, I’ve never done me in front of anyone. Except that one time I got caught in the hot tub. And the time at the pool with everyone around it. LOL. ok so I never did it in an intimate setting only snuck it once in public, unless you count the time on train, but nobody was there.
Not sure why I’ve had an issue with that but I have.
The other dream was when you were laying there and I was laying on your left shoulder and got to watch.
That I’ve done before, and it was something I enjoyed.
Im eating shrimp for breakfast. Got a frozen ring that I thawed out yesterday. In New Orleans they had a lot of crayfish. Never had it and I was afraid to buy it. I really don’t like it when I spend money on food and it tastes yucky and you’re stuck with it. When I got to Texas that was a pretty cool thing that happened. Went with my friend there to the store and they happened to have them cooked on sale. I just wanted to try one though, but as it turned out Mary’s husband loved them so if I didn’t like them he would eat them. So I got them, and I got to try it. But, I don’t remember what they tasted like. Not sure I liked them or I’d remember them, or they might have been just ok.
Monkfish, the poor man’s lobster. Had that twice in my life. The first time my sister and I tried to make it it came out awful. Tried to make it myself, found a recipe, and it came out decent.
Reminded me of a guy I dated for a short time. His name was Mark, and he was a chiropractor. Met him through Dr Tighe’s office where he was training to work. He started out wanting to be a monk then decided the monk life wasn’t for him. He was into some esoteric type of things. Told me some stories of cool things that had happened to him. I was digging it. One of the stories was how a cup fell off the counter and it was like it was suspended mid air and he was able to reach down and grab it so it never hit the floor. He started taking dance lessons. I thought we were off to a good start, even got him dance shoes as a present. Then the first night we were together I stayed over his house and things got weird. We were in his bed messing around, and then he announced that he was saving himself so we couldn’t have sex. Ok. But, then he got up knelt in front of me, I was laying on my back, he jerked off and came on my stomach. He was satisfied and went to bed. I was just thinking “did that really just happen?” “wtf was that?” Alright, so, I didn’t understand it so let that one ride. We go out on another date he tells me he likes my confidence and he’s having a good time with me. Very cool. Then we are on the phone one night and I forget how the woo-woo convo started but then I told him that I saw something. I was in my bedroom looking down the hall and the other bedroom got all smokey. Like something was there in the room. His reaction was just “wow you’re weird”. he had already been talking about seeing things, so I was just like “uh, alright”. So that was the end of that.
The have and have nots are a thing.
Well that triggered me so I’m done. Had more stories to tell about last summer but now is not the time.
I put some words to the video
https://www.facebook.com/roxanne.ardary/videos/3699577446938561/Then a friend/client of mine responded about the date today. So I asked what’s the connection with today, did a search and this popped.
https://lifehacker.com/entertainment/nyt-connections-answer-today-january-7-2024
So after the trigger on the last post I got to wondering which part was the wounded feminine. My Lilith or my Eve?
The pink flamingo at the end of the video had one leg up one leg down. One up one down was a theme for a bit. Top and Bottom. But which part is the dominant on top? Is there a balance or is one dominant over the other? Who’s up to bat?
My eve has been dominating the show lately so I’m guessing that’s which side of me got injured. Then again maybe not, I was pretty hurt by the family pics so could be Lilly, I did just start daydreaming about sexcapades after all. Eve keeping her in check?
Got me wondering about guys too. does the bottom have two parts or just controlled by Adam. Im guessing just Adam.
Lilith is the dominate for males and Eve has to be nurtured out?
Eve is the dominate for females and Lilith has to be nurtured out?The brain just playing monkey in the middle?
Brain games for bubby: how do we put our atoms together and make some electricity? Cause the chicks aren’t doing anything for me. Lily checking out, or in, depending on how you look at it.Dog farts.
I live with them on the daily. Sometimes they smell pretty bad. Most the time it’s just noise though. They were much smellier at my sisters. I changed their food. Chloes hair isn’t shedding as much either. I put her back on Fromm.
So I was thinking today that I really wanted to write a post about how to throw yourself an awesome bday by yourself. But didn’t have a new picture to do it with, and nothing popped that gave me the urge. Been on the fart train all day seems like.
But, a self empowerment how to kinda thing might be helpful. Was just thinking of my cousin, and she called.
I got to talking to her about her birthday and if we could plan a day for her to just go have fun and enjoy herself. She always wants to bring someone, her kids or her mom, and then last minute they cancel. So I told her no, it’s her day to spoil herself and nobody else is invited so nobody can disappoint her.
We picked out a few places. She’s very crafty and loves art. She picked a restaurant that has stone statues. And I sent her a group tour of the art in South Philly. She didn’t want to do it because she was afraid to go there by herself. I showed her the one museum that I just went to a few months ago. I told her it was fine. I drove there, wandered around, and thousands of other people do every day. She wasn’t convinced.
My family tried to scare me out of New Orleans for Martin Gras. I went and felt very safe the whole time, left when I thought the hour was getting close to went it could get shady. Families with kids around are a good indicator that people feel ok and that’s how Marti Gras was the time frame I was there.
Im not sure that my posts of what I’m doing are enough to get the ladies past their fears of trying things alone. Even though I know, and they know deep down, they could have a really good time if they got past their fears. Naviage the waters, find the time frames or zones you feel comfortable with and go from there.
Afraid of shootings? How many people get shot in a drug deal at 10am? Most of the time that stuff happens at night. There are ways to logically work through each concern if they tried.
Ok I might be mis-remembering, Im thinking of a screenshot I took the other day to show you. But the middle one I don’t remember ever taking. And the picture order is changed. The last one I took was at the bottom now it’s at the top.
I think this is the one I took this morning. I DON”T KNOW!
But I got enough to buy latte’s, that I do know 😀
this picture was Also posted 2 years ago with the covid theme.
You know what’s interesting? Andrea’s comments brought back a memory of when I was with Rich. I was talking to her while sitting in my backyard. I had started getting very depressed with life, the grind, the reclusiveness I was experiencing. She used to go to Tony Robbins seminars. I don’t remember the exact words she used but she was telling me about having to want what’s over the fence more than what’s on the side I was sitting on, that’s when I’d make the change. I just remember sitting and staring at the fence for awhile. Thinking of that did remind me of your post in Dec <3. The difference was the wooden one in my townhome was the privacy wall type.
I was also thinking about my mom and my sister. I know she’s there for her too. I just wish their relationship would reflect that. Not in the way it currently is, but where they are happy to be spending time with each other. I’m guessing that unlocks too down the line since Karen saw all 3 of us flying.
Another funny thing, Kingdoms of Camelot was an FB game that I played 15 years ago all during this time frame. Camille is still actively playing her game on her phone. And her and her bf still argue about it.
That’s another thing that’s weird between couples. Camille got very offended one day by something her bf said about one of his X’s. I didn’t understand it, I always had no problem hearing about different previous girlfriends or their sexcapades. I didn’t take it personally like they were better, why would I if he was with me? Obviously all people have their strengths and weaknesses, but it’s not a competition at that point. Now if the bf is sneaking around to see an X they aren’t an X, heh so that’s a different story. But overall, I’ve had pretty open conversations about their previous relationships.
She then brought up that she would never tell him about hers, and how would he feel if she did? That one had me stumped. Cause I’ve never been very open about much of my history. I’d usually answer questions, rarely volunteered it. And when I did, while it seemed ok at the time, quite a few things were used as ammo against me in conversations we had down the line. So I guess I learned to I’d avoid them at times or be honest at others. Talking about abortions backfired, and that was a very painful lesson.
Im remembering the pirate dream I had, the pirate was steering the ship. “The one eyed pirate stealing all the fun” were the words I used. At the time I was thinking about my mom and how we both, my sister and I, viewed our relationship with her. Then the next scene was a gun turning and shooting at me. And I was petrified I was going to commit suicide. I remember going into discord very upset about it and asking others what it meant and that I never had suicidal thoughts. Then they told me it could mean an ego death. That made me feel better and then I was collecting skulls. Just like I did with my gaming guild 🙂
I just remembered Rich saying he wasn’t suicidal repeatedly. Was odd, cause none of his behavior had reflected that. I was worried that he might get aggressive (or maybe it’s defensive?) with my sister when she showed up, so I had her stay away with the kids.
Was on the phone yesterday with my friend Andrea yesterday. She was telling me how the weather up in Philly sucked. I brought up that she and the hubby should take a vacation for a few days and go someplace warm. I brought up a 4 day cruise that I remembered leaving from Philly to Bermuda that I had gone on before. She immediately poo poo’d that idea saying she didn’t like cruises and being confined. (?) Then she said plus covid is running rapid again and she didn’t want to be in close quarters like that with people. She’d rather fly someplace. (Again ?) I just said ok. So why don’t you guys arrange a getaway weekend each month till your honeymoon, which they have scheduled in May. She responded saying how they don’t have the money she’s not working like she used to. (???). They’re combined income is still well into the 6 digits. I’m like, uh I don’t have any income and found a way. She ignored it and just said, just be thankful you’re not here.
Thankful. Was an interesting word, and took me a minute to figure out what I had to be thankful for.
I’m thankful for our combined efforts to retrain my brain to look and experience life differently. You did a lot of the groundwork for me, and I was able to piggy back on that to install a new virus lol. Much love. 🙂
I’m thankful for my mom and her giving me the RV to use. Not sure what life would have looked like without it, but she had my back. Much love there too 🙂
I’m thankful I was selfish. I like that word, when you used it the other day, it stuck with me. I was selfish enough to put my happiness first so I could experience a whole bunch of things.
As for the brain lobotomy part, Im thankful it didn’t work. Or maybe it did in its own way cause I get a lot more interactions now.
A selfish little shellfish.
Hair follicle parasites popped yesterday.
I don’t have crabs, never did.
Had hair lice one or twice as a little kid. Got them in the summer when I went down the shore with my grandma. She said they came from the sand. Everybody needed everything sterilized. That’s all I remember about it.Bunch of covid stuff has been popping in my FB memories from 2 years ago. This video made me laugh.
https://x.com/RoxanneA/status/1743947110657962079?s=20Im not sure how to convey this in other ways yet, but I did try to find what would excite her. Art, and then went to food and restaurants she wanted to try. She loved the pink flamingo in my pics, also said she wants to make a vision board for life goals, her top was to have a house made of stone or brick on land and have animals. 2 goats, 2 sheep, chickens, a pony and a cow.
